Chapter 6 Non Verbal Communication

 What is non verbal communication?

• communicate without words including gestures, touch, raising your voice
• basically anything that develop other than HEARING WORDS directly spoken

  Benefit of using non verbal communication

• greater the ability to send and receive nonverbal signals, the higher the attraction, popularity, and psychological well-being are likely to be
•  successful to influence others

  There are 6 functions non verbal messages

• Integrating  non verbal and verbal messages.
• Forming and managing impression 
• Defining relationship
• Structuring conversation 
• Influencing and deceiving 
• Expressing emotion 

Chapter 5 Verbal Messages

  Principle of verbal messages


  Messages meaning in people

• same meaning but different words
• same thing but different meanings

  Messages are denotative and connotative

  Denotative - mean dictionary meaning
  Connotative - mean emotional meaning



  Meaning depend on context / abstraction

• words can be different meaning

  Messages vary in politeness

• Politeness vs Impoliteness
• Directness vs Indirectness

  Messages vary in assertivenss

• speaks their mind and welcome others doing likewise

  Communicating assertiveness

• Describe the problem
• State how this problem affects you 
• Propose solutions
• Confirm understanding 

  Mesages can deceive

• an intention of giving false messages

  Types of lies

• Pro-social deception
• Self-enhancement deception
• Selfish deception
• Anti-social deception

  Disconfirmation and confirmation

  Disconfirmation - ignore someone messages
  Confirmaton - acknowledge somenone messages


  Area affected by disconfirmation and disconfirmation

• Racism
• Sexism
• Hetero-sexism
• Ageism

Chapter 4 The Self

 The 'self' here means - “… the discussion and context of the individual”

  The 'self' can also be deemed as the way in which communication and interpretation of messages takes place within the individual.


  The area of ‘self’ can be explored and widen into


  Self concept


   It is how you feel and think about yourself- perception and actions, your feeling and though. Your strength and weakness, your abilities and limitations your pros and conts etc.

   It is the image who you are.


   Area that affect self concept

   Social Comparison

• we often compare and adjust our image and thinking with the way society acts and thinks

   E.g - if society think it is cool to wear underwear on the head, chances are we might follow it! Fashion trends, popular culture, etc. 

   Other's image of you

• we often compare ourselves to those around us: friends, peers, etc

   E.g - how well did you do in your exam compared to your friends?
   Performing - music, art, sports = we often ask “How was it?” or “Did I do well?” to people close to us to seek a comparison

    Self interpretations & evaluations

• your self-interpretation and self-evaluation are your standards that applies to your ethical and moral reasoning, beliefs and comprehension and conformity of things around you

    E.g - Some may think lying is okay, but some may think lying is wrong. As a result, your ‘good’ and ‘bad’ list will be based on these things. 

    Cultural Teachings

• your culture instills in you a variety of beliefs, values, and attitudes about such things as success

     E.g - your ability to achieve what your culture defines as success, contributes to a positive self-concept




    Self awareness

• ability to discover things about yourself
• process of discovering your personal development and understanding
• become self aware about your own ability

    The Four Selfs - Johari Window

     The Four Selfs - Johari Window by

• Joseph Luft
• Harry Ingham

      Four different window explain different parts of ourselves that we know ourselves, other know betteh than we do, some remain hidden from others and some totally UNKNOWN to you or anyone.


      Open Arena

• known to self and others

      Facade

• known to self but unknown to others

      Blind Spot

• unknown to you but known to others

      Unknown (unknown self)

• unknown to you and others

      Self Esteem

• means confidence or the level or trust or assurance to yourself
• always good to have it, but dont over ly high self esteem that become self destructive.

     How to increase your self esteem

• attack self destructive belief
• seek out nourishing people
• work on project that will result in success
• remind yourself of your success
• secure affirmation

     Self Disclosure

• an act of telling others about things that would not about you
• telling your hidden self

     Self Disclosure's advantage

• Gain confidence
• Be more truthful about yourself
• make or strengthen friendships and relationships

     Self Disclosure's disadvantage

• Lost of friends and trust
• Additional pressure and burden
• Living with regret

    

Chapter 3 Listening

      Listening

• a specialized process, a type of perception, by which you receive auditory signals
• helps you to play , help, relate, influence and to learn
• Hearing is a basic step of receiving sound and is not the same as listening

      Stages of Listening

      Receiving

• verbally and nonverbally
• Hearing Auditory Stimuli - can be made more effective if you

          Focus attention on the speaker
          Refrain from thinking about how you will respond
          Maintain your role of listener by not interrupting


      Understanding

• decoding the speaker's messages; more effective if you

          Relate the speaker’s information to what you already know
          See the speaker’s messages from the speaker’s point of view
          Ask questions for clarification
          Rephrase (paraphrase) speaker’s ideas to facilitate mutual understanding


      Remembering

• Retaining messages received and understood for at least some period of time - more effective if you

          Identify speaker’s main ideas and supporting evidence
          Summarize messages in ways that are easy for you to retain

          Repeat names and key concepts to yourself (or aloud, if appropriate)


       Evaluating

• Judging messages you hear - can be made more effective if you

          Resist evaluation until you fully understand the speaker’s points
          Assume the speaker is a person of goodwill (ask for clarification)
          Distinguish facts from inferences and opinions 
          Identify any biases, self-interest, or prejudices that may influence the speaker’s messages


        Responding

• responding occurs in two phases: responses while the speaker is talking (backchanneling cues to let the speaker know you are paying attention - can be more effective if you

          Express support for the speaker by using varied back-channeling cues
          Express support for the speaker in your final responses
          Take ownership of responses by using “I” messages



         Listening & Culture

         Listening is difficult, why?

• Different communication systems between speaker and listener
• Because of experiences
• More difficult if speaker and listener from different culture

        Diversity of Listening & Culture

        Language and speech

• every speaker speaks an idiolect (unique variation of the language)
• Speakers and listeners who have different native languages & who may have learned English as a second language have differences in meaning.

       Nonverbal behavioural differences

• Speaker from different cultures have different display rules. (non-verbal appropriate or inappropriate in public setting)
• Listen = verbal + nonverbal
• If verbal and nonverbal contradict with what you expect, it will become noise or interference

         Direct and indirect styles

• Direct style: “say what you mean and mean what you say.”
• indirect style : “they emphasize politeness and maintaining a positive public image rather than absolute truth”

          Balance of story versus evidence

• In some cultures (e.g. United states) most people want evidence before making decisions rather than critical thinking
• But for some other cultures, they may be more influenced by the word of high credibility source

          Credibility

• What make a speaker credible or believable will vary from one culture to another
• Competence teacher is the most important factor for parents to send their children in preschool
• For some other culture, morality and or goodness is most important factors

          Feedback

• Members of some cultures give very direct and very honest feedback
• But for some others cultures “it’s more important to be positive than to be truthful and so they may respond with positive feedback even thought they don’t feel it”

           Listening Effectively


           Participatory and passive learning

• Key of effective listening
• Participate mentally and physically
• Passive listening is not without merit
• Listening without talking and without directing in any nonverbal way is powerful means for communicating acceptance

           Emphatic and objective listening

• Means + feelings = emphaty
• Emphatic listening is a means for both increasing understanding and for enhancing relationships
• There are times when you need to measure the meanings and feelings against some objective reality
• Listen more objectively

           Nonjudgemental and critical listening

• Effective listening includes both nonjudgmental and critical responses
• Open your mind and understanding the message and then evaluate or judge the message

            Surface and depth listening

• Distinguish the surface(literal) and depth meaning of the communication

          E,g - how do you like my new haircut?

                   Question means direct and clear
                   But.. there is another level of meaning
                   Maybe it's asking about his/her appearance



     

Chapter 2 Perception

        What is Perception?

        Perception is the impression that others give you and what you project to others

       Perception process


       Sensory Stimulation occur

• the sense organ are stimulated

       Sensory Stimulation is Organized

• organized according to variance principles

       Proximity Principle

       Closure Principle

 

 

       Sensory Stimulation is Interpreted-evaluated

 

• subjective process involving evaluation on the part of the perceiver

        Process influencing perception


       Implicit personality theory

       You have your own opinion about someone's characteristic that say which characteristic of an individual go with other characteristic.


      Self fulfilling prophecy

      Occurs when you make a prediction or formulate a belief  that comes true because you made the prediction and acted on it
 
      Also known as Pygmalion effect


      Perceptual Accentuation

      lead you to see what you expect to see and what you want to see


      Primacy- recency

      use early information to provide yourself with a general idea of what a person is like. Then use later information to make this general idea more specific

      the first impression you make is likely to be the most important, through this first impression other filter additional information to formulate a picture of whom they perceive you to be


      Consistency

      You  expect certain things to go together and other things not to go together

      People  have a strong tendency to maintain balance or consistency among perceptions


      Stereotyping

      A  fixed impression of a group of people

      Everyone has attitudinal stereotypes of national, religious group, racial groups etc


      Attribution

      The process through which you try discover why people do what they do and even why you what you do