Chapter 9 Friends & Lovers and Families

Friendship is considered as

• interpersonal relationship
• must mutually productive
• characteristics by mutual positive regard (you like me or i like you)

Friendship Types

The friendship of reciprocity

• Loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, generosity
• Share equally in giving receiving the benefits and rewards of the relationship

The friendship of receptivity

• one person is the primary giver, and one the primary receiver

The friendship of association

• friendly relationship
• there is no great loyalty, no great giving & receiving

Why do we seek out friendship and close relationships ?

Utility purposes

• help you to achieve your specific goals and need

Affirmation

• help you to recognize your attributes

Ego support

• someone who behave in supportive and encouraging

Stimulation

• Introduces you to new ideas, help you to expand your worldview

Security

• someone who does nothing to hurt you or

Development stages of friendship


Initial contact & acquaintanceship

• the first stages of friendship
• impressions are formed
• important to stay open welcoming of the presence of your new acquaintance

Casual friendship

• The second stage of friendship
• Dyadic (of a relation) consciousness takes place
• Doing things together

Close and intimate friendship

• the third stage of friendship
• most intimate forms of togetherness

The value of friendship would also be affected by

Culture

• different cultures would bring about a different meaning to friendship

Gender different

• male and female kin view friendship and relationship differently
• men are more keen to develop more acquaintances, but not true friends
• women are more able to keep and maintain close friends around them. But tends to get jealous more

Technology

• meaning of friendship has been diluted by the important and usage of technology in our lives

Romantic relationship


Types of Loves


Eros

• erotic, sensual, desire, lust
• basically this category represents love that comes out physical attraction, beauty and appearance. Often sex and lust becomes the result of this category

Ludus

• excitement, fun, entertainment
• this love is represents the thrill of excitement and pleasure seeking, often only seeking temporary measures and ways to fulfill their need to have fun

Storage

• peaceful and slow
• this form of love represents the act of seeking for love but with the absence of passion and emotion in the process

Pragma

• practical and traditional
• lover this category are more concerned of the ability of the other partner and the benefits that they could gain from the relationship

Mania

• extremist of opposites
• love in this category is a bit of a psychology they love the thrill of having love and at the same is depressed or worried of having love

Agape

• unconditional love
• this love is truly unconditional love- loving another with no favor expected in return. Can be considered as the highest and most selfless form of love

Love and Communication

• enhances all forms of verbal and non-verbal communications and encourages a deeper level of conversation

Love and Culture

• love is interpreted and practiced differently from various cultures around the globe

Love and Gender

• who is the better lover? Men or women? The jury is out for neither – both men and women love differently

Love and Technology

• likewise with friendships, the meaning of love is also diluted by the growth of technology

Families

Each family has their own uniqueness and characteristic, but they do normally follow a certain set of rules and criteria, such as

• defined roles
• recognition of responsibilities
• shared history & future
• shared living space

Types of Family

Traditional Couples

• the conventional form of a family

Independent couples

• individual in this family setting stresses individuality as the main theme in the family 

Separate couples

• this family setting is not really a family but individual in this family stay together for a common benefit

Family Communication

Equality

• individual in families would often seek an equal terms of respect, love and understanding with one another

Balanced split

• families with a balanced split have a balanced amount of responsibilities

Unbalanced split

• a mother having to work for money and taking care of the home but the father just stay at home unemployed and not even doing the housework

Monopoly

• one person is the authority

Family and Culture

• Highly individualist cultures would not have a conductive setting for a healthy family. But would often be prepared to accept changes and self-disclosure

Family and Technology

• Research showed that while the participants in the family are more active in conversation, with one another
• example: via text messages, email, facebook, and more